![]() It was something that I always contemplated but never thought possible. The most difficult decision I’ve had the privilege to make was probably leaving my home, my comfort zone, and the only thing I’ve really ever known, Hong Kong, at the age of 16. I believe, with all my heart, that healing was what I came to do on this earth, and going back to Brazil meant to not fulfill my dreams, purpose, and convictions. My three children were still minors, one of them was just 6 years old and I had no family in the country. I think the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make was to accept the consequences of my choice to stay in the US when my first husband left our family and decided to move back to Brazil. Maria Helena Corrêa Anderson | Holistic Practitioner & Qigong Instructor Perhaps then, some day far in the future, you will gradually without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.ĮQ-I 2.We asked some of the city’s most brilliant and creative minds to tell us about the most difficult decision they’ve had to make. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. So if yours is a decision that is asking you for time, I offer you one of my favorite quotes to keep you company while you wait: ![]() I know that’s not the answer you want to hear, but when you are facing a question that will change the trajectory your life, it deserves time. What information do you need, or how can you experiment to get it? What is the next smallest step you can take to experiment or to gather more information?įor some decisions, this may be enough. But the bigger the decision, the more time it will take. What is it like to live in that particular reality? What does your energy feel like? Do you feel a sinking feeling or are you excited when you imagine it? Answer questions in the Decision Making Scorecard below. Describe the situation with as little embellishment as possible. Strip it down to the fundamental facts.Ĭhoose one of the options available to you (e.g staying in academia in the aforementioned example). ![]() Either write down or talk to a friend about what the facts are. ![]() So how do you do it? There are a variety of approaches or frameworks (see Resources section below), but here is a simple 4-step process to help you “coach” yourself:Įmotions cloud your ability to see the choice or problem clearly. The good news is that it can be improved. The ability to make decisions in a complex environment is both a core component of emotional intelligence, as well as a crucial leadership skill. Or maybe you really are stuck in a winding maze full of blind spots, competing priorities and dead ends. I think I know what to do, but it’s hard to trust myself. I know what I need to do, but this has to be done right. It’s uncomfortable and I know I’m going to disappoint someone. Maybe that’s the place to start - to step back and determine which of the following is the real issue: If I was being factually accurate, I knew what to do, I just didn’t want to do it. I knew I was going to have to have a difficult conversation that was going to result in an unhappy client. While it was clear to me that my loyalty was with my existing client, it was more challenging to figure out how to handle it, particularly because the senior sponsor of the project was putting pressure on me to choose them. The new client gave me an ultimatum that I had to choose between the two organizations. After signing a contract with a new client, I was made aware of a significant conflict of interest with an existing client. I recently had my own “I don’t know what to do” moment. (The unstated question: Do I give up something good for something that could be great?) I like working with smart people in academia, but a part of me wonders what it would be like to work in a start-up environment. Do I let them go or do I just deal with it later? (The unstated question: What’s the right thing to do?) Someone on my team isn’t performing at the level s/he should be. (The unstated question: How do I decide who to disappoint?) I’m working too many hours. I’m exhausted, distracted and I’m not spending enough time with my family. It’s a phrase that’s embedded in almost every coaching conversation I have. Sometimes it’s explicitly stated, but even when it’s not, it’s there.
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